We cannot explain Halloween mania. It is not a gift-giving holiday, and it used to be merely an eating occasion for kids and sugar addicts. Now, every year, it starts earlier and grows, and grows, out of control, like one of those evil monster rabbits in Night of the Lepus.

Economy in the toilet? Sure, but that’s not stopping your neighbor from buying more spooky stuff to out-boo you. There are only two solutions: fight or give in. Shopperati is giving in with enthusiasm, and we’re starting on your front porch.

Perch your own 26″ gargoyle on the roof (above, from brandsonsale.com), to let your guests know that, yes, they are being watched from above ($140); then hang a set of animated skeleton wind chimes from brandsonsale.com ($20, above) to flitter menacingly in the midnight breeze. An Oriental Trading Company cauldron fogger will complete the ambience, kind of like a Zen fountain, only not ($55, right).

Trade in that regular white light bulb for a colored bulb in a more sinister hue of yellow, orange or red at buylighting.com ($2); it’ll do wonders for people’s deathly skin tones. Put up a stone castle door surround from shindigz.com ($10), and add a couple of boarded window covers proclaiming either “Beware, Danger, Keep Out” or “Haunted House” to set the mood. ($40).

That’s just the porch. The yard is a whole different matter. Real estate has been more than frightening this year, which makes the Haunted Estates real estate lawn sign at BuyCostumes.com a favorite ($30). If you’re into more traditional signage, try the Haunted Valley Cemetery lawn sign or their Eerie Acres Cemetery lawn sign ($30 each).

Browse through 45 kinds of tombstones (right) at brandsonsale.com ($1-$70), and then toss in  bag of bones (above) at Oriental Trading Company to scatter around the yard (28 pieces, $30). Sprinkle graveyard dust on everything, then hang an Enter at Your Own Risk tattered cloth ($15) and turn on the ground fogger machine with remote control ($60).

Now you’re getting in the spirit, and without a bite of candy. That’s good, because Shopperati believes the dentist’s chair is the scariest place of all.