We are thankful that we were not up at 4 a.m. today in order to stand in line at one store in order to get out of that store by 4:45 a.m. in order get to store No. 2 by 5 a.m., and so on until we dropped. We suppose Starbucks could step in and save us somewhere in the black hole between 6 and 7, but honestly, we’d rather be in bed.

If you are one of the amazing souls that hit the stores this morning, we salute you. You are probably taking a nap right about now, happy in the knowledge that you have filled your Christmas list with things that said “40% off before 9 a.m.” But if, like us, you are a bit of a slacker, you can still accomplish amazing things online. Most of the major stores have online specials today, and some sweeten the deal with free shipping.

Here’s a guide to black-Friday shopping without alarm clocks, traffic or crowds:

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You know how right before the Super Bowl, all the jocks and party-givers start thinking about buying a new television? A really, really big, expensive one with high def and picture-in-picture and all the bells and whistles? For a single football game?

OK. Now, focus. Thanksgiving is game day. It’s the big one. You’re the jock of the table, the duchess of all party-givers. And you need your big-screen TV: You need new dishes!  And while we love white too, what we want here is color, style and, well, high definition.

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Already having a panic attack looking at your Thanksgiving to-do list? Scratch one thing off by wearing a dress that not only makes you look fabulous, but will last through the kitchen war zone. This way, you can go straight from cooking (or unwrapping store-bought pies) and arrive perfectly put together at the dining room table. 

Here’s a fabulous start. This Thakoon design made its public debut when Michelle Obama wore it to the first presidential debate in Mississippi. The warm rose hues and rich creams made Obama appear calm, classy and inviting - just like you want to appear this Thanksgiving. The short sleeves make it easy to get around the kitchen, and the durable material and pretty print will not easily give way to food stains.

Michelle Obama picture by Getty from Daylife.com; Thakoon runway picture from Style.com

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We are thinking that the dessert table may be the perfect place to throw a party this holiday season. It can be its own affair entirely, and it doesn’t have to abide by rules for a meal. You can buy incredibly pretty dessert plates that don’t match anything else in the china closet. And you can serve exquisite desserts that say, as much as anything else, this is a truly special day.

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There are wine glasses for sipping Chardonnay on the patio, and they can’t cost much or you wouldn’t take them outdoors. There are large wine glasses for when you’ve had a tough day at work, though we prefer to call them tumblers. And then there are wine glasses for the Thanksgiving table, which can be all exquisite shimmer and delicate shape.

Make that holiday toast to good health and thankfulness among your family and friends a beautiful one with some striking stemware.

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Keep your fork, there’s pie.

It’s one of the most magical sentences in the English language. Even if  we can’t imagine another bite, when we’re full to here of turkey and dressing and potatoes and all the side dishes the relatives brought, Keep your fork, there’s pie somehow fortifies us, sending us happily into battle once again.

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Holiday tables are beautiful for so many reasons. The faces of family gathered round, heirloom recipes filling the table set with grandmother’s china and other special things that only come out a few times a year.

Wait, though. Is that last year’s table runner? That’s not adding those necessary touches of color and warmth. It no longer echoes your décor or unifies what’s on the table. What are you thinking?

Do you need another excuse to go shopping?

We love Crate and Barrel’s Josephine runner, where gorgeous champagne brocade embellishes a deep cranberry background ($40-$60, depending on length, left).  Bed, Bath & Beyond takes the same color palette and adds a winding floral pattern and gathered tassles at the end of their Romantico runner ($25-$30).  For a crisper effect, Pottery Barn monograms their pristine white 100 percent cotton classic hotel table runner ($16-$39). You can get napkins to match, if you like - $24 for six.  And to create a sleek and tailored table, you can’t go wrong with Calvin Klein’s tonal bands table runner, all subtle in taupe and chocolate ($50-$70).

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Hey, things are looking up! The stock market rallied yesterday. Gosh darn it - maybe everything is going to be just fine.

So, go ahead, throw down $60,000 on a life-sized LEGO sculpture of a loved one for that very special holiday gift. Or double that and get a sculpture of yourself.

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