We are thankful that we were not up at 4 a.m. today in order to stand in line at one store in order to get out of that store by 4:45 a.m. in order get to store No. 2 by 5 a.m., and so on until we dropped. We suppose Starbucks could step in and save us somewhere in the black hole between 6 and 7, but honestly, we’d rather be in bed.

If you are one of the amazing souls that hit the stores this morning, we salute you. You are probably taking a nap right about now, happy in the knowledge that you have filled your Christmas list with things that said “40% off before 9 a.m.” But if, like us, you are a bit of a slacker, you can still accomplish amazing things online. Most of the major stores have online specials today, and some sweeten the deal with free shipping.

Here’s a guide to black-Friday shopping without alarm clocks, traffic or crowds:

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Let’s save some money. Let’s find cute things for less cash, and let’s dream a little on the way about the possibilities. Where are we going? The Clearance Rack, of course.

We’re beginning with a power suit. No one will dare turn down your budget request when you’re wearing Ann Taylor’s red Havilland short jacket ($130, was $218, left) and Havilland straight skirt. The jewel neckline and three-quarter sleeves are all business, in the smartest possible way ($80, was $108).

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Why are we so devoted to the clearance racks, the sale tables, the discount bins? Not just because they save us money, though that’s huge. It’s also the treasure hunt - the possibility that, with a little more time and a bit more digging, you can score something you’ll love. Allow us to carry the shopping bag!

We know. You’re going to say That’s way too expensive for fake flowers. But we’re going to say that this hydrangea bouquet costs about as much as four or five arrangements, it’s gorgeous, and it’ll last for years. You’ll thank yourself every day. At Silk Flowers ($159, was $179, above left).

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The election is over, taking all its campaign commercials and talking heads with it, and not a nanosecond too soon. But there’s still a promised land out there, full of opportunity and economic rebound - the clearance rack!

Could we be more charmed? We could not. We adore this little two-button cardigan, with its pretty V-neck and three-quarter sleeves. We feel ourselves slipping it on over just about everything. At Macy’s ($41, was $69, above).

A perfect transition: This multi-color patchwork leather bag from Fendi is fall’s hottest shape: the oversized clutch that can double as a shoulder bag. At Net-a-Porter ($1,659, was $2,370, left).

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Here’s the secret: Just walk in, nod quickly to the staff as though you are very busy, and head straight to the back of the store. No small talk, and no stopping at all those gorgeous displays in the front, because you are here to save actual money, and that never happens in the front of the store. We promise. Come with us and we’ll show you how it’s done:

Happy birthday, November girls: Let a warm, glowing birthstone usher in a nippy month. Citrine shows itself off at Macy’s in a three-stone 14K gold ring ($179, was $300) and oval drop earrings ($329, was $550).

Nestle them in style: Clean off the top of that dresser and find your inner zen in the calmly organized drawers of an Art-Deco inspired leather jewelry box. At Red Envelope ($199, was $299).

Can we afford this dress? No, we cannot. Does that stop us from coveting it? No it does not. The Derek Lam silk gathered dress has us spinning with the possibilities. At Bergdorf Goodman ($1.052, was $2,490).

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We are out and about again, surfing the mall, trying on clothes, chasing 40 percent off signs as though they were the holy grail. We live to buy the best and never, ever pay full price. And we saved room in the car for all of Shopperati’s readers:

A glimmer of hope: Tory Burch’s Monique sequin tunic, all shimmery in black silk with three-quarter sleeves. This and a killer pair of black pants will get you through the holidays. At Saks ($238, was $595).

Mary Jane grows up: Michael Kors does the tall pump right with his suede and leather open-toed Anabel heel. At Nordstrom ($100, was $139)

Room with a view: Ballard Designs’ Caribbean-inspired Bridgetown mirror can’t help but reflect well on you ($220, was $280).

The world is your oyster: Tiny keshi pearls and a gorgeous drop of sterling silver cohabitate in the handmade Bright Spirit necklace. From Sundance catalog ($230, was $570).

Get into the flow: You can’t help but make things happen in this delicious Sutton Studio flared hem. It’ll flatter you even on those days. At Bloomingdales ($158, was $198).

Our new BFF: Well, for today at least, it’s the khaki Hype textured leather Paloma tote. It’s long, it’s large, and it has enough pockets to entertain us. At Bluefly ($161, was $350).

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Life would be so much easier if we just had bad taste. Everything we liked would be in good supply, and it would cost less. We would throw away all the shimmery, expensive catalogs in our mailbox, turning our noses up at the baubles within, dismissing them as fancy or pretentious.

But no such luck. We continually find ourselves drawn to high-end products and their damnable high-end price tags. We just don’t have a fancy income to match, and so must fall back, constantly, on our BFF: the internet sale rack. Shop with us for the some of our favorite clearance finds this week:

A handbag with class: Marc by Marc Jacobs’ Lovely Lily small satchel, a pleated Italian leather barrel bag with contrast-stitch details. At Nordstrom ($253, was $378).

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We’re always keeping an eye out for stylish bargains and great sales. This week we’ve found a handful of handbags, all for less than $50:

1. Kohl’s has a faux snakeskin hobo bag by Relic that’s a bit shiny, with black patent trim, on sale for $33.60 (it was $48).

2. Botkier is that very pricy, hip designer line that has a Target line of bags that look a lot more expensive than they are. The roomy gray faux python satchel even has a cell phone pocket, for $28 (it was $40, pictured left).

3. If you want a splashy colorful statement bag, look no further than Betsey Johnson’s Betseyville canvas tote, complete with pink spotted straps, a wild girly graphic and her signature metal tag. It’s $43.50 at Macys (pictured, right), originally $58. 

4. Piperlime is a great site for bags and shoes, and they also have great sales. This Jessica Simpson Pacha tote was $99, and now it’s $50!

5. Another great site for accessories (and clothes, jewelry, etc.) is Amazon. They’ve got a lot more than books! We spotted a sporty RuthMichael blue Bali slouch purse for exactly $50.